MILTON BERLE QUOTES II

American comedian (1908-2002)

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison -- if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

MILTON BERLE

Forbes, 1989


You can fool some of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time. That's usually enough.

MILTON BERLE

Milton Berle's Private Joke File


Two is company. Three is poor birth control.

MILTON BERLE

Milton Berle's Private Joke File


Money won't buy you happiness. Money won't buy you love. Money won't buy you health. But the way I see it is--give me the money and I'll rent them.

MILTON BERLE

Milton Berle's Private Joke File


Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.

MILTON BERLE

attributed, The Fifth and Far Finer Than the First Four 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said


For the first two years I was married, I thought the only flavor was charcoal.

MILTON BERLE

Milton Berle's Private Joke File

Tags: cooking


Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

MILTON BERLE

Milton Berle's Private Joke File


Success is relative. The more success, the more relatives.

MILTON BERLE

Milton Berle's Private Joke File

Tags: success